it's high time for me to admit that i am working on an epic poem about amazons, and that i would like your help. i started with an amazon creation myth, and after that each poem is in the voice of a different amazon (eventually they will all have names according to which amazons were present in the battle against the athenians to reclaim their kidnapped queen but for now i'm just trying to get a feel for the different voices that come up). i might hear from some amazons more than once. anyway anyway anyway, here are the six segments i have so far. please imagine more space in between them (each on a separate page).
The first of us was created, then erased
by the god of men. Our god is the seed
that grows within us, light and winged!
This is what happened before god blanked
her out in the memory of man, blanketing
the garden in a sleep that thread time back
into the earth—the woman ate not one fruit,
but every fruit, and then the leaves and bark,
and twigs, trying to consume the tree thinking
she would become a god and understand
the beautiful language, hold it in her mouth.
She swallowed the seeds and they grew
inside her in her exile, became us Amazons.
At first it was like snowmelt gathering
to flood, to fight—the rush of river pulsing
blood, the horses underneath us kicking dust
over everything there is to see without
looking up. This Herakles, we knew,
was not a man exactly, but who decides who
gets remembered as a god—when so many
of us are mixed of mortal and immortal elements?
Monster, he called me and went for my throat.
In the reflection of his eyes, I was a storm at sea,
but he settled it with a concentrated movement of his brow,
and so the sword
entered my skin as the skin of the sea calmed by dusk.
Why should we believe their language of paired opposites?
In our tongue we do not define things by what they are not.
Some of the others have seen it before and others like it,
but to me it looks like the city of the gods.
The rocks and temples seem to trap the sun
and hold it there above us, just as clouds
sometimes appear to be lit from within. I am the youngest;
this is my first battle against men; in the evening light
the city on the hill glows red.
Not even our horses can sleep.
Strange winds came spiraling up the rock face
from below, pressing us to tomorrow, just as all
the way to Athens the winds beat strong
against our backs.
I understand what the horses understand,
lighting and relighting the small fires of lanterns.
4 comments:
Questions:
Are the Amazons real?
How did you get the idea for this? What inspired and guided your imaginings?
Excited burning curiousity is my initial response to this blooming saga, closely followed by "more more more!"
I would be interested to see you write more expansively and shape the narrative a little more (are you writing about an actual historic battle, or creating one, or just opening a window into an ancient/mythical world?) before I offer any line by line comments. The answers to my (ignorant) questions might help me as I craft such a response, but overall the answer is a resounding "yes" and there are many very strong lines and images.
i got the idea while i was standing at the ancient site of the oracle at delphi this summer, so i figured i better follow through. an amazonomachy is an art historical term for the friezes (or other ancient art) depicting battles with amazons, ancient women warriors. (like centauromachies with centaurs and gigantomachies with giants). it's impossible to say whether the mythic amazons were based on real historical amazons. the amazonomachies typically depict their battles against herakles and theseus (which is also what i'm focusing on in my poem). they are also mentioned by homer as fighting against the greeks in the trojan war.
that said, for my amazon creation myth, i wanted to draw from the first account in genesis, in order to link the amazons to lilith rather than eve.
basically, the amazon myths are so multiple and contradictory that i'm having a lot of trouble choosing/navigating my narrative. perhaps i should stop researching and commit to making my own myth?
Remember at the beginning of Autobiography of Red how Carson sets forth the fragments before she begins the story? Maybe you could copy that framework, at least in early drafts. I imagine it would help to sort out what the givens are for you before you make your own myth.
I got the biblical allusion, you'll be happy to know. But I wasn't as interested in that as I am in saying the word AMAZONOMACHY over and over!
It's hard to start.
I love much of this--especially "the woman ate not one fruit/but every fruit, and then the leaves and bark,/and twigs" etc... It's wonderful.
Right now it's sort of hard to comment because I like a lot of it, and am trying to see the sections separately. I do think it's a little difficult to get the Epic tone AND individuate each of the different woman in the first person. Right now the sections feel very tied together, in one voice. Have you though about writing from third person? I'm not sure I really want to suggest that especially because "Monster, he called me and went for my throat"
I think the order will no doubt play an important part, I'd like to see the build up to the battle with men and a individuation of some of the women before we get to that point.
I agree that the best way to shape this further, and to smooth out some of the narrative, is to really commit to your own amazon myth, informed by what you've already read but taking it intuitively in your own direction.
light and winged!
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