We’ve broken all the windows in the attic
again with our singing games. The seventy-six
doves found the seeds we left for them,
and now they are all sleeping in the middle
of the day, their heads tucked under their wings.
We found the orchard full of plums and now
we’re all sleeping in the middle of the day,
with our heads tucked under our wings.
Yesterday a great wind or a ghost or god sent the wheelbarrows
all rolling downhill towards the dark water.
A man showed up, saying he could read
the furrows their stiff legs had dragged through the earth,
saying they spell his name, his story,
that it now belongs to us.
We baked the delicate bread in his honor,
the braided wedding bread with rosewater,
because he is the only one who can
tell us how divine came to be
a verb, and what language water
speaks beneath the earth.
Because, you see, we have no precedent
for celebrations of this kind.
5 comments:
I like this, Elizabeth. What is your logic regarding the repetitions? I think that it works in the first stanza but the penultimate stanza feels a little too small to accommodate two breads and two waters.
I like this because it is so refreshing! I've been thirsting after something different, I'm sort of bored with the poems I'm writing. I was wondering about the 76 doves, if it was a reference I missed. I actually disagree with elsbeth (!) I like the repetition in the last stanza because to me the honor-water rhyme made me feel like the repetition was a rhyme and not a repetition. When I heard the repeats in the first stanza I thought it was a secret sestina or something and then confused when it wasn't. But upon second and third reading, I like the tone it sets up for the rest of the poem. I would only say that I felt the first stanza a little disjointed from the rest. But I love that little man, I might even like more description of him if it fits anywhere.
I'm so happy you've come out to play.
thanks. this poem has no references, no secret sestina, and no logic, that i can figure out. i put it here because i daresay i'm as baffled by it as any of you.
Hasn't anyone told you the rules of the game, Elizabeth? We discover the logic and the secrets, and you take credit for inventing them. It's an uncomfortable feeling at first, I know, but you'll get used to it.
the first stanza is just word-perfect!
the ending feels rather quiet in comparison, but on the whole it works well.
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